3人英语话剧剧本:恶搞《梁山伯与祝英台》
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Characters:(L—Liang Shanbo、Z—Zhu Yingtai、M—Ma Wencai)

Scene I: Separation

第一幕:离别

旁白:梁山伯和祝英台一同来到新东方书院学习英语。梁山伯酷爱口语,每天疯狂地练习口语对白,祝英台一心想出国,梦想有朝一日成为VOA主持人,最终祝英台以托福和GRE高分的成绩被哥伦比亚大学录取,临走那天,梁山伯十八里相送在机场与祝英台缠绵告别。

L: Yingtai ,I love you so much and I’ll miss you so much.!

Z: I love you, too! Don’t worry. Shanbo I only love you in this wild world. I’ll marry you as soon as I’m back. Wait for me just for two years.

L: I’ll kiss you across the Pacific Ocean.

Z: I’ll kiss you from the other side. Wait for me. BoBo

Scene II :Breaking up

第二幕:分手

旁白:一周以后,祝英台从美国打来越洋电话。

L:Oh, Sweetie, Yintai I miss you so much, miss you every minute every second. Oh my dear. Are you listening to me?

Z: Listen, Liang Shanbo. I’m calling to tell you that I loved you. But I think you’d better find a better girl.

L: What? Pardon?

Z: Because I’ll get married.

L: Married ? to who?

Z: To 英俊潇洒风流倜傥玉树临风的Ma Wencai.. He is so handsome. So rich, even richer than Yu Minhong. And he is good at 葵花宝典。I love his money and I love his body.

L: What are you talking about? You wait and see. I’ll give you some color to see see. I’ll kill you! I will kill you in America!

Z: America? You can come to America? Hahahaha

Scene III : Revenge

第三幕:复仇

旁白:祝英台的无端背叛深深伤害了梁山伯脆弱的心灵,他发下毒誓:不杀祝英台誓不为人。于是重新来到新东方书院学习托福和GRE。当然他没有忘记用老生证可以优惠20块钱。为了能飞越重洋去杀掉祝英台,他每天提醒自己有一个梦想。

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and lives out the true meaning of its creed: We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal. I have a dream that one day I will kill Zhu Yingtai right in America. It is a dream that deeply rooted in my heart. In my heart.

旁白:一年之后,梁山伯也来到了美国,四处寻找祝英台的下落。终于在纽约街头找到他当年的爱人祝英台,而她正和马文才卿卿我我。

L:Zhu Yingtai, long time no see, huh? Who am I ? I’m Liang Shanbo. I’m here to kill you.

Z: Liang….shanbo. Oh, Wencai. He is crazy. He will kill me.

M: You! Get out of here.

L: You! Get out of here!

M: 电话来了。Hello, I’m in wuhan. Ok ok I’ll come right now

Z: Please don’t go. Just stay, please. He’ll kill me.

M: I know! But if I stay, he’ll kill me by the way..

Z: You told me you were good at 葵花宝典?

M: Sorry, I’m not good at 葵花宝典. I’m just good at 新华字典。

Z: Oh,you liar. Just get out of here!! (to Liang Shanbo) Oh,darling, you must kill me?

L: Yes, I have to. Because I hate you more than I can say.

Z: (sing)When we were young, we listened to the MP三, you said you’d love me forever. Don’t kill me,ok? Shanbo. I qiu qiu ni..

L: No door! (sing) Where you go, whatever you say, I’ll be right here killing you. I only know I was born to love you or to kill you. Now I can’t love you, the only choice is to kill you.

Z: 曾经Once upon a time, there was a true love in front of me, I didn’t cherish it.If I was to meet him again, I wish to say I love you. If you would ask me how long I would love him, I should say ten thousand years. That man is you The only man I love in this wild world is you. Only you.(sing)

L: The only woman I want to kill is on-ly you!!

Z: Please, you know I love you. I love you just like laoshu ai dami. I want to marry you.

L: hehehe Really?

Z: Oh, of course. Please don’t kill me!!!!

L: To kill or not to kill is a question. I don’t know. Who can tell me? I put her life in your hands. Everybody here, please tell me kill or not kill?

(to kill)

L: You hear this. I ‘m sorry. But don’t worry , I’ ll go to heaven together with you.

Z: All right kill me, then we’ll become two butterflies in the beautiful garden(sing)

(sing)

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